Contrary to popular belief - being single is Awesome.
Allow me to explain why.
Singles wanting to be married and married people wanting to be single again is a universal conundrum.
Most people believe their life isn’t made whole until they find a spouse. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t find the bits and pieces you are searching for in another person who is also in search of theirs. It would be a mess.
Because you are trying to fill a cross-shaped hole with home insurance or a diamond ring. God is the only person who can make you whole.
If you are looking for a single relationship advice around the time of Valentine’s Day, I can give you three.
1. Show some Self-love:-Â
Philautia - Self-love is one of the 8 types of love defined by ancient Greeks. Also part of the new commandment Jesus gave, Love your neighbor as yourself. How can you love others when you don’t love yourself?
Singleness is a season for self-improvement and self-discovery.
Speaking of Self-improvement, Healing (mentally and physically)Â is part of a Christian Journey, however, most of us disregard it.
We stash the pain and bitterness underneath a rug and walk it off, it is like a ticking time bomb. You are His church, God doesn’t deserve one on the verge of crashing down.
You can’t grow if you are still hurting and bleeding. You can try and move on to another relationship but you are gonna bleed out on someone who doesn’t even deserve it and make a mess.
A wise woman once told me pretending to be okay, isn’t going to help you heal.
The Key to healing is forgiveness.
It works in both ways, either by receiving it or sending it - it will lift the weight right off your chest. So it's time. Whoever or whatever hurt you, it’s time to let it go.
Maybe it is a childhood trauma, an abuse you endured, a lousy health routine, or an underlying grudge against your partner who cheated on you. It's about time you get out of the hold of envy and self-pity.
Take a hot steamy bath. Let the water wash away the worries and tears. Â
Delete the old chats you are holding onto, and remove the unwanted contacts from your phone. Trash the things you kept as the scars from your past, and burn the memories (literally and metaphorically).
 You are who you are not what happened to you. And in Christ, you are New (2 Cor 5:17)
2. Savour the Sacred Space:-Â
The only way to be sure what you are looking for is to find yourself - Mike Todd, [ Relationship goals]
Singleness is a season where God teaches you to discover yourself and Him.
Who are you?
A daughter of a famous rapper? topper in your university, or merely a delivery guy paying off your student loan. None of this defines you. None of this is your identity. Neither is your past nor your mistakes.
It is a simple question. If you can provide an answer to it, without involving your father’s name or your past mistakes, congratulations you are done here. We have Scripture bites and Adulting 101 for you.
 As for the rest of the 90% population of the earth, Singless is a Journey you should be enjoying with Jesus. A scavenger hunt you take on with Him to discover You.
What color do you actually like (not the one your last boyfriend said looks good on you), who do you want to be in the body of Christ? What you can contribute to society? - You can’t possibly figure out all of it while you are trying hard to please another human.
Don’t get me wrong, God wants you to have a relationship. He is the one who created Adam & Eve remember?
Though the point is before you jump into a relationship, have one with God first.Â
I don’t care who you are, how old are you (34 or 23, doesn't matter), what you have done, or the unspeakable things that happened in your past. Neither does he. Today is the day of your salvation.Â
Seek Him.Â
Read a book, go to church, hear a sermon, watch a TV show, Sit with him, sing to him, Dance with Him. doesn’t matter. But seek him and all will be added.
The more you give time to God in your life, the more he will unfurl yourself in an unexplainable yet beautiful way to you.
3. Search your Purpose:-Â
Purpose before the Person - Mike Todd
The best relationship advice I ever received.Â
We all are here on earth for one reason. To tell Jesus to the world. Your Grades, Work, house, marriage, kids, your Mustang all are added benefits, not the other way around.
Find your purpose first. Discover What part of God’s Ministry you can contribute to.Â
When you feel stagnant or desperately need a change of phase in your life try helping others.Â
Join a church ministry or a support group, Volunteer to help the needy.
If you are not a joiner, create your own thing to tell Him to the world. A Podcast, TikTok, blog / Vlog. There are all kinds of ways to serve, thanks to the 21st century.
In the words of the author Of Love Does, Pick something you aren't just able to do; instead, pick something you feel like you were made to do, and then do lots of that.
Work on your talents, use your gifts, and put that meticulously created brain of yours to use for His Kingdom.
When you are running for God and towards God, you’ll find someone running on the parallel track in the same direction, who will cheer you up and push you to your best. You'll find someone to run with you.Â
Until then,
Show yourself some love, Stick with the one who is Love and Spread Love. God Speed.
Hope you find this post informative. Let us know your views in the comments.
Check out our post on What is not Love.